Unicorns Puking On Kittens

Knock on Wood.

2009-01-28T19:31:00.001-06:00

Famous last words

Time for a party

2009-01-26T20:04:00.002-06:00

Oldie but a goodie
I found this site like 6 years ago and he has yet to update. I check it once in a while just to read the "hate mail".

Sweded

2009-01-24T11:24:00.000-06:00

Terminator 2 = hilarious.

"The weather here is sweet!"

2009-01-11T21:58:00.003-06:00

It's suppose to be -10 degrees this week.
F that noise.
I'm going to Puerto Rico.

2009-01-11T21:58:00.001-06:00

SamAHGarricks

2008-12-30T20:40:00.003-06:00

Tonight we made one of our favorites while EF and Ali were here. Bernatellos pizza.....4 cheese of course. I had some cheese in the fridge and offered everyone a piece of Muenster cheese in which Garrick thought it would be a good idea to put some on the pizza. Then we left a small "control" area without Muenster for study purposes. We decided we would start to buy Bernatellos, open them, add Muenster cheese, add parimsian cheese, extra garlic, re-wrap, cross out the "4-cheese" with a sharpie and change to "5 Cheese!" and call it SamAHGarricks.

Genius idea. Genius.

GO CREW

2008-12-26T20:22:00.002-06:00

Hootie caught me at work with my new lid on.

Trek Life / Brew Crew

Also got a blog post on it with a sneak peak to my brother's xmas present. Also most of VOLKSVELO was shown as well!

Cat Dancers

2008-12-18T20:58:00.004-06:00

Last night I stumbled upon one of the most interesting movies I've seen in a while. The name; Cat Dancers. I don't know how well I can describe it in so many words but just check out the HBO synopsis of the documentary. My favorite line is "Within a period of five weeks, Ron had lost his lover, his wife and their beloved Jupiter."

As I bled through the normal rig-a-marole of traditional TV I couldn't help but wonder what was going on with this show. The info on our DVR read "The sole survivor of a trio of lovers that entertains crowds with large exotic cats tells his story of love, danger, and excitement surrounding the catastrophic death of two of it's members". Ok it was pretty close to that from what I can remember.

When Gar came home and asked me what I was watching you could tell his gay-dar was running a little hotter than normal as he looked at me with questionable eyes. He then took an inquisitive seat next to me and when on the magical journey that is Cat Dancers. Of course I had to check out their myspace page: www.myspace.com/catdancers and found the following photo:

I am sure you are as shocked as I to find out G-rick was actually an acrobatic muscle-man in his youth. Few people know that Garrick would roam beaches nation-wide in search of two lovers to raise ferocious felines. If you get the chance to find out more on G-rick's unexpectedly exciting life, do yourself a favor.....watch it.

Harrick Gollenbeck

2008-12-15T20:30:00.002-06:00

So Harrick Gollenbeck made me delete this post and re-post it because he Googled his name and found the third listing to be a blog post with nine listings to his name on a website called "Unicorns puking on kittens"...apparently that was a bad thing. Oops. Here's the repost:

Memory Lane (copyright Harrick Gollenbeck) was created tonight via Harrick Gollenbeck...who by the way, told me I had to write "copyright Harrick Gollenbeck" every time I said Memory Lane (copyright arrick Gollenbeck) talked about tonight when I said I wanted to talk about the days of old and Dan and Stuber had websites. So now without further ad0, here are the sites of old....enjoy.
The infamous Dis-honor role.
The Palace
The Tommy5
The original Apt. Awesome
The Guest
The Neigbors
DH sidenote: I really feel that Madsen had it right when he brought out one of Apple's first ad's for the iMac. check it out

My face feels like a horse's mane

2008-12-08T19:28:00.002-06:00

More Beer Run 2008 pictures and stories to come.

Where is Morris Day and the TIme these days?

2008-11-25T23:54:00.002-06:00

This is the stuff movies are made out of.

You Are the Last Dragon

2008-11-21T19:46:00.002-06:00

One of the greast films of all time was on last night; Coming to America. Two words: Soul Glo.

Soul Glo
lead to
The Last Dragon
lead to
zip zap rap,
lead to
Mr. T

TourTrek.org

2008-11-16T16:26:00.003-06:00

I gave a tour on Friday and this guy left me a voicemail about an hour after it was over telling me to go to tourtrek.org

I was told I shouldn't do a direct link to this guy because he will probably he has some code in his site that allows him to see the analytics and where people were routed from. This means you have to type in yourself www.tourtrek.org and check out what he wrote.

Long story short, it was really weird and even more awkward how he tried to pitch me on all these website domains he owns especially because I was giving a tour with other people there, we didn't have a meeting set up, and I have little to no control over what we do with our websites.

Paul Rudd

2008-11-15T23:35:00.003-06:00

That's who I think I have the potential to be. Garrick and I were watching SNL and Paul Rudd is hosting. We went on to talk about how I like his humor and think we have a similar dirty, edgy but funny delivery to our jokes. Anyway, it must have been from the first time I saw him in the movie Clueless that I knew this is the man I want to be. Since then he's been in the Judd Apatow flicks that have obviously done well and tonight he was redic. Plus we saw his new movie Role Models and it was pretty damn good.

So that got us thinking who Garrick is the most likely to be. Within about 19 seconds I blurted out Woody Harelson. Think about it....they look kinda similar and Woody is hilarious in Anger Managment and Kingpin. G-rick quickly agreed and it was official. Garrick is going to try to be more like Woody. This is what happens when you stay in on a Saturday night watching SNL because you are too frustrated doing an Autumn themed 1000 piece puzzle at 11:00 at night.

Then we started to watch Eddie Murphy RAW and decided someone should go to halloween dressed as Eddie Murphy in that stand-up; purple leather pants with matching jacket, high heels, black gloves, ..fade haircut, mustache and a huge black scarf. Obviously the easy choice was made and Nick will be going as Eddie Murphy in RAW next year. Have fun with that NIck!

Iceman

2008-11-11T23:33:00.005-06:00

It's so freaking cold here. Yesterday it was 23 when I went to bed...on the chair and probably 64 degrees inside our place. I feel like I must be feeling a little frigid from the Iceman Commeth race this past weekend.

Seems like winter is here. The race was a great reminder of that being the first day (which mostly consisted of getting into Traverse City, MI and setting up for a demo) was 68 degrees outside...not too bad for race weather. However, the race wasn't until the next dreary morning day. It turned out to be about 47 so not too bad. During the warm up I couldn't get warm. Knees felt bare to the wind, teeth chattering, and hands clenching the bars with a death-grip to power out the chills in my body. I decided to throw on a wool base-layer to keep dry and warm before the start but it took a while to get on so I was almost late but slipped threw the barriers with my Gary Fisher Paragon and hit it hard for the first three miles. The landscape in upper MI is a mix of hard packed dirt and sand pits. Not cool. Super fast but the navigation through the pits was pretty hard for most of the riders. At mile 3 some guy in front of me went down and I pretty much had to run right over him and jacked myself in the left shin from my pedal making direct contact. I tried to shake it off by jumping back on and trying to ride back up to the pack.

Right around mile 5 I was getting WAY over-heated so I had to shed some layers. I had to stop and take off my wool base-layer which took a large amount of time since it was beneath my vest and long sleeve jersey. I wrapped it up and put it in my back and set off to catch back up to the field. By this time I was probably 5 minutes back and out in no-man's-land waiting to see someone, anyone, to catch up to. Finally I was picking people off one by one (keep in mind there are about 2,700 people that do this race so you're bound to see someone eventually). I rolled with a few single-speeders for a while but once we got to the hills I started to roll them since they didn't have the gears.

Around mile 17, half way, toes were freezing but there really wasn't much I could do as we started heading into the single-track. I felt like there was an absence of experience in this part of the trail because I was rolling past people and trying to get by almost everyone I came up on. The other riders seemed to do fine on the flats but had no idea how to negotiate quick turns and fast downhills. Things were going well. I was doing negative splits and rolling past people which is always good for the mentality of things. Hamstring felt fine but I started to get a little cramped up near the end. Probably a combination of the continuous hills disabling all momentum I was working off of. By the last part of single-track I was out of the woods with no-one around so I pretty much coasted to the finish. Ended up getting 44th out of 94 at a time of 2:19 and change. I feel like I could have dropped at least ten minutes if I would have dressed better and didn't' have to shed the extra layer and had some better riding legs under me but all-in-all it was a fun race that I will most definitely but on the schedule for next year.

The winner of the Pro team was actually with us as well. Jeremiah Bishop took the men's trophy which is a NASCAR like trophy cup made out of a solid block of ice. It's pretty freakin sweet especially since the winner gets to drink out of it all night from the local bars for free.

Sunday was filled with a 38 minute flight out of Michigan to Chicago and then another 27 minute flight back to Madison to reuite with the blowup matress for a long awaited nap while football echoed in the background.

What did you do today?...

2008-11-06T19:04:00.016-06:00

....I met Alberto Contador. No big deal. If you don't know, Alberto is the youngest cyclist ever win the three Grand Tours (Giro d'Italia, Tour de France, Vuelta a España) and one of only five people to ever do so. Contador was visiting on his way back to Spain after testing some new products at the San Diego Low Speed Wind Tunnel along with Levi Leiphimer, another member of the Trek sponsored Astana Team.

While he was visiting our small Wisconsin town, a new wall display was unveiled featuring all of Contator's winning bikes in our atrium. It was a very impressive ceremony and the wall turned out great after our designers literally worked until 4am this morning.

Once things started to settle down I got the chance to go over and chat a bit with object of our entire building's attention. Thanks to Cynthia for helping out with the translations, we chatted a bit out the upcoming pre-season camp in New Mexico in a few months and what he likes to do during the offseason. I must say I am very rarely star struck or nervous about meeting famous people, but I've got to admit I was a bit timid before being introduced. But after chatting a bit he was pretty much just like us. A 26-year-old guy from Spain who's just taking it all in and doing what he can to make a dollar.

Got me pretty amp'd up for this weekend's Iceman Cometh Race from Kalkaska to Traverse City, Michigan. Leaving tomorrow on an early flight to work the booth in the morning, race 27 miles on Saturday, and then help out at the VIP Subaru tent after the race. Should be a good weekend but missing G-rick work it hard on the Tyranena Half-Marathon this weekend. Hayden is coming into town to so good luck to him, G-rick, and NOFM.

Run Skinny Boy Run

2008-11-02T20:23:00.006-06:00

For those of you not in the running world (i.e. you don't know what letsrun.com is) today was the 37th running of the ING New York City Marathon. In 61st place was our very own Bill "the thrill" Walkowicz. Bill came in at an astonishing 2:32:14 and here is how he did it:

5K Time 0:17:53
10K Time 0:35:14
15K Time 0:52:24
20K Time 1:09:32
1/2 Mar. Time 1:13:19
25K Time 1:27:07
30K Time 1:44:35
35K Time 2:03:08
40K Time 2:23:00
Pace/Mile 0:05:49

So at his half Bill ran 1:13:19...that's 10 minutes faster than Garrick Plans to run his half marathon this upcoming weekend. Good luck Garrick. I'm sure 6 minute pace is going to be a blast. Congratulations Bill!!!! Have fun getting drunk very easily tonight!

On another note, this weekend was Halloween and for the first time here in Madison G-rick, Nick and I celebrated with style by dressing up as Elmo, PC (from the Apple commercials) and Eeyore, playing flip-cup at a house party, yelling at people waking by, and dancing at the Ram's Head till we sweat our balls off. Here is a shout-out to the days for two of the best costumes from 2004. You can find Garrick's costume from that year on his new blog at The G-Spot under his first post Other Famous G's. When that was taken G-rick happened to be part of one of the best stories I could ever tell that can best be discribed as big, red, and hilarious to everyone but Garrick. Saturday Garrick had to work so Nick and I went to an exhibition game for the Badgers Men's Basketball team thanks to Travis for hooking me up with a ticket. We didn't get there until late in the second half because of the worst traffic I have ever seen in Madison due to Freak Fest featuring O.A.R. playing live on State St. After the game we grabbed a bite and Nick's young lovely lady Meg got us to the party for free via hallway from some random apartment that ran straight into the party. Keep in mind we had zero drinks in us, as compared to the ham-boned night before so it was definitly less entertaining. We did see some good costumes very well due to the 24,502 watt flud lights the city put up to make it seem like daytime. After a quick stroll we went home and chilled out on my new best friend: the blow-up mattress. If you're ever in town you gotta try it...highly recomended. Right about this time of year I think I should start working on next year's costume but I'll probably do the same thing I do every year and go to Target two days before Halloween and get some costume for kids age 6-8 and make it fit my body. Good times.

Unicorns are pretty messed up.

2008-11-02T19:46:00.004-06:00

So this is the first post in my new blog. I'm not sure why I called it Unicorns Puking On Kittens, but it I thought it up a long time ago and said if I ever had a blog I would call it that. So from now on if I ever refrence this page it will probably be called UPOK to make it easier. Unicorns are messed up. Just watch the video.

I wish I was the banana king.....just saying.